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Category: Only Connect

life-stances that help you connect to others, community building, aloha

BEND THAT CODE YOUR WAY

BEND THAT CODE YOUR WAY

It’s a survival thing.  When a person is an Outsider — someone who doesn’t “belong” to a group of one sort or another for whatever reason — there is a kind of invisible barrier that rises up between them and the people who do belong to that group.

It’s a very real divide.

“Same” is good, the prevailing culture code says; “different” not so much.  It’s a built-in herd thing, I suppose.

Every group has a culture code.  Every group will say that there is Right and True and Real and then there is not-right and not-true and not-real.

Everybody who identifies with a particular group (or wants to) is likely to act and at least pretend to think the same way.  They all do the same sorts of things.

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MULTIPLY THE FUN (An Un-Seeing Exercise)

MULTIPLY THE FUN (An Un-Seeing Exercise)

Consistently over the years, assorted research has shown that job dissatisfaction is a problem for about two-thirds of the people in America.

This “disengagement” has wide-ranging effects.  Gallup tells us that this job irritant issue has cost as much as $350 billion a year in “lost productivity.”

(It can also suck a soul dry, and turn your life into a desert, but nobody scientific ever mentions that.)

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BEYOND STUFF-LOVE (Part 3): A Touch Test

BEYOND STUFF-LOVE (Part 3): A Touch Test

18th-century British textile designer, poet, writer and socialist activist William Morris famously advised:  “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”

It’s become a sort of go-to standard that organizers, minimalists and de-clutterers of every ilk use to look at the stuff with which we all surround ourselves.

These days every time you hear that phrase, you can pretty much expect that somebody is going to try to persuade you to get rid of some beloved something.

The perpetrator of the phrase may even hand you some sort of condescending, mealy-mouthed, holier-than-thou thing about your “unhealthy” attachments to “mere material objects.”

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STOP CANNING YOURSELF (No Elevator Pitch)

STOP CANNING YOURSELF (No Elevator Pitch)

Ahhhh….the “elevator pitch.” One more tool in the marketer tool-box.

It says here that in order to be super-effective marketers, entrepreneurs, and hustlers-extraordinaire, it’s up to us to distill an explanation of the essence of our skills, services, goals, background, and even our very own selves into a sparkly speech that lasts anywhere from thirty seconds to two minutes.  Then we ask for something.

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HOW TO LIVE WISDOM

HOW TO LIVE WISDOM

In 2011, a video of a kid speechifying after learning to ride a bike went viral.  His dad “interviewed” him after his accomplishment, asking him whether he had any “words of wisdom” for all the other kids who wanted to ride a bike.

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OVERRIDE “STAIRCASE WIT”

OVERRIDE “STAIRCASE WIT”

We’ve all experienced it, that d-d-d-duh moment when somebody snarks at you or disses you big-time in front of the smirking crowd and your mind blanks out.

Half an hour later — or maybe, if it’s really bad, three days later (after gnawing over the mauling) — your inner Clever Dude or Dudette finally kicks in and hands you a totally brilliant, absolutely useless “I-should’ve-said” come-back thought.  ARGH!

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CHOOSE YOUR DELUSION WELL (Another IPS)

CHOOSE YOUR DELUSION WELL (Another IPS)

Yeah, I know.  It’s what I tell myself all of the time, echoing the I Ching and assorted other wise guys and smarty-pants, ancient and new:  The goal is getting to clarity.

Right.

The problem with that one, of course, is that I’m such a little thing and the Universe is really, REALLY huge.

What are the odds that I’m ever really going to be able to know enough to make sense out of it all?

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FLIGHT OF THE MOTH (Another IPS)

FLIGHT OF THE MOTH (Another IPS)

Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom):  an understanding that the world is a communion of subjects and not a collection of objects.  [Everyone and everything in the world has a story.  You can connect to the story if you lead with curiosity rather than judgment.]

It has occurred to me (many times) that everybody walks through worlds made of stories.  The stories are, after all, how we make sense of ourselves.

Our own stories – our struggles, our mistakes, the choices we make and the results of those choices, the lessons we’ve learned and the ones we keep ignoring – are windows through which we display who and what we are.  Each of us has a unique, custom-made story that we rework every day.

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FIND YOUR OWN VOICE

FIND YOUR OWN VOICE

Probably every wanna-be Creative has been told (at some point or other) that in order to reach their full potential as a writer, visual artist, musician, performer or whatever, it is imperative to “find your own voice.”

Now, in the Age of Social Media and Self-Branding — when the “Creative Mindset” is supposed to be The Way to $ucce$$ and Happiness — we are told that we must go looking for our individual, unique voices.  Our success depends on it.

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GIVE UNTIL IT HELPS

GIVE UNTIL IT HELPS

Here’s a thing from Jay Conrad Levinson’s GUERILLA MARKETING EXCELLENCE:  The 50 Golden Rules for Small-Business Success:  “Give till it helps.

It’s a very different take than the more usual “give until it hurts” that Mother Theresa espoused.

Mother Theresa’s thing seems to encourage a degree of selflessness that’s way over the top.  Some folks take it to mean that you’re supposed to give and give and give until you’ve nothing left to give….and then you give some more.

With that one, I’m not quite sure what you’re supposed to do when you’re totally depleted and unable any more to take care of your own self, your own dreams, and the responsibilities that are yours.

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