SHAPER CHALLENGE (An Un-Seeing Exercise)

SHAPER CHALLENGE (An Un-Seeing Exercise)

John Milton (an English poet who wrote epic poems in the 17th century) once wrote:

“The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.”

Milton did call it right.  All of us humans do have one super-power.  Every single one of us can shape our own reality and make up our own world.  It’s why we find everybody else’s stories so fascinating, I suppose.

Because we each have our own mind and every single one is different from every other one, we often confuse each other.  One person’s way of seeing the world is often not at all like the one the person standing next to them is seeing.

“Mission Mural” (Mission District Mural, San Francisco, Northern California, USA) by sswj via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

The disparate choices the people around us make and the ways they walk are likely to be consistent with whatever world they are looking at in their own minds.  Since these minds can be so very different from our own, it’s likely that we are going to be a lot confused by other people.

At the same time, because we are all human and we all have the same need to survive and the same desire to thrive, we do have many commonalities and similarities with which we can hook our worlds together and play that way.

“street food” by mini malist via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]

The super-power we each possess is the foundation of our ability to shape the world around us and it helps us to connect with other people as well.

People who see pieces of the world in the same way can join together to do and make lots of grand things together.  People who don’t see things in the same way tend to blow things up fighting about it.

“Fire!” by Cedness via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]


Somebody not-so-famous once said, “At the end of the day, it always comes down to small and simple things.  That’s the way the world really works.  It’s just us humans who make it so complicated.

And that’s another truth, I think.

“Father and son holding hands” by Ivan Radic via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]

It occurred to me that, for real, there is only one big conundrum with which every renowned wise guy and smarty-pants in every relatively complex society down through the ages has spent considerable amounts of time wrestling. 

The thing that had them scratching their heads and formulating theories and strategies and systems and such is this one: 

What are we humans supposed to be doing with our in-born power to build and shape the worlds we are seeing in our own minds when we choose from among the actions we can take in any given situation? 

liquid shapes
“Liquid Shapes” by Ib Aarmo via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

The wise guys and smarty-pants invariably tell us it’s supposed to be pretty simple to make your own choices because there are only two basic ways you can actually use that inherent human super-power of yours:

  1. You can shape yourself to fit into the consensus world in which you want to live.
  2. You can shape the world around you so that there is room for you to sit or stand or move in it as you like.
“Shape” by Joost Markerink via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]

And then those know-it-alls have to elaborate…because (except for the guys who like to keep you dizzy) they ALWAYS have to elaborate.

They tell us that sometimes you do one way and sometimes you do the other.  They then go on to tell us that sometimes you have to do both at the same time.  The worst part is when they tell us about how sometimes you can do nothing at all. 


The wise guys point out that all kinds of complications arise or ensue because, no matter what, you are also obliged to take care of yourself, your heart-people, and your own little bit of the world around you.

“There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters” by Artful Magpie via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]


Actually, that does makes sense.  Here’s why:

  1. If you get broken, you can’t play.
  2. If you squish the other people around you and leave a trail of street-pizza behind you, then eventually nobody will want to play with you.
  3. If your playground falls apart because you are not paying attention to maintaining it, after a while you won’t have a place where you can play.

See?  Simple.  Right?

But then, of course, there are all those other people who are not you.  They are likely to have their own ideas about it all and if their ideas are a lot different than yours, everybody’s going to be tripping all over each other.

“Where to start” by Brian Evans via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]

It’s enough to engender a lot of sighing and grinching and whining, that.


I stumbled across a 2017 YouTube video of a spoken poem made by a young Arizona middle-schooler, Olivia Vella, for her seventh-grade writing assignment. 

The video went viral.  The thing has received over 19 million views so far and garnered 1.2 million Likes and not one Dislike.  ABC Television Stations uploaded it onto YouTube.

It’s a perfect model of what happens when you focus entirely on trying to shape yourself to the world in which you want to be.  (As we know, middle-school-aged girls are notorious for making this a specialty.)

And then there was this ESMA animation movie, “Sauve qui pneu,” a playful spoof on the “Fast and Furious” movie franchise, was uploaded to YouTube in 2021. 

The little film is apparently the work of students who attend an art school in Montpellier, France.  It struck me as a giggle-inducing, highly flavored commentary on some of the ways you can use your one human super-power to shape the world and make room for you.

It’s interesting to note that the title is a play on the phrase “sauve qui peut” which literally means “save himself who can” and has come to mean “every man for himself.”  The word “pneu” means “tire” (like a car tire).  Hmmm….

The little fantasy gets a bit uncomfortable when you remember what your mama or your aunty (or somebody who was more certain than you about the ways and means of this old world) always used to say, “What if everybody did that?” 

Ummm….not so good, maybe.


There are, of course, many wise guys and smarty-pants and know-it-alls and such who are more than happy to tell Shaper-you what you are “supposed” to be doing in this world.  You can probably stack up these guys and gals and their words, ideas, and mind constructs like cordwood in a corner or something.

“Stacked Wood” by Shelby L. Bell via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]

I’m here to tell ya they are not much of a help if you’re really trying to figure out how to move your own way in the world to get to a place where you want to be.  The thing is anybody else’s systems and strategies very often does work, but maybe not for you.

Remember, though, that it’s human to make the simple stuff complicated. 

The whole thing is really, really simple if you can actually see what is sitting there in front of you.  Unfortunately, that can be the hardest thing for humans to see, it seems. 

“He was a friend of mine” by Brian Hathcock via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

(Click on the caption of the image above and read the story behind this simple picture.  It adds a whole other dimension to what looks like a “simple” picture of a dock on a lake.)

My own feeling is that all that stuff from wise guys and other smarties are only supposed to be fuel for your own fire.  You try them out and burn them up to make your own light so you can suss out how You, Your-Own-Self, are looking at this world that enfolds and encompasses all us humans.  

“eld” by Andy Miccone via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

The next very short YouTube Video was uploaded in 2014 by MindToolsVideos.  It asks, “What Are Your Values?” and gives some simple pointers on how you, too, can pinpoint what your own values are.

I’m going to spoil it for you and tell you what it says to do.

  1. Think on the times you were happiest, the times you were proudest, and the times you felt fulfilled
  2. List the values that you were following that led to those moments and ponder on the other values that you hold which could lead to the same kinds of moments.
  3. Then list your top five.

This admittedly dorky little video is attached to an article written by expert, Big-Brain People Who Know about figuring out what your own values are and how to find the meaning in your life.  (Okay…maybe it actually doesn’t say THAT.)

Be aware that it’s likely that all of this is really just a reminder of stuff you already know.  And that’s the thing:  YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS STUFF.  You probably don’t need anybody else to tell you what you already know.

However, if you are feeling like you need some help, then the little video and accompanying article can be a good starting point. 

Once you get a handle on your values and the principles that you are already embracing to make your own life run well (or not), then you can go make your own plan of action. 

If you follow your plan, making assorted course-corrections and such as needed along the way, it is likely that you will end up in a world that matches your own perceptions better.   

The thing is, it’s still all on you whether you paint yourself a Heav’n or a Hell.

“Painting Other Worlds” by kbetart via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

Here’s a poem:


Papa was right.

Every day is a blessing,

He used to tell me,

Every day you start out with a smile.


But me, I was the smart one:

I thought that was TOO simple,

Not the Real Deal nor worldly-wise.

I knew better; I was cool; I had it wired.


Now, I sit here, thinking ‘bout my Papa,

Sit here thinking how he lived and died,

Thinking of the hard that dogged his dancing,

Thinking of the sad hidden underneath the smiles.


He’s gone now, but mostly, I remember

The laughter and the songs he used to sing

And the quick, wide smile that always drew an answer,

The sparkle in his eyes and his jaunty swing.


He walked and walked for miles and miles and

His hands were tough and calloused from work unending,

But his heart, oh, his heart stayed baby-soft,

So tender, he was, so warm, and oh, so very kind.


I’ve been living out my life for a while now,

Been knocked around by lessons not too sweet,

Tried dancing hard and fast and playing it fancy,

Moved in the groove and flowed with all that go.


And I thought…well, gee, I’m really very smart.

And my hands stayed soft

But my heart got tough and calloused

And my eyes, sometimes they turned to stone.


And then the world dropped me a memo, a reminder,

That all its glittering games are rigged somehow,

That power and control is all illusion,

That the Real sits just quiet underneath.


Life pounded and it hammered me to gravel,

Left a raw heart that lay bleeding in the Real.

It took some while to stitch that back together

‘Mid raging storms and floods of flowing tears.


So now I sit here thinking ‘bout my Papa,

About days you bless and honor with your smiles,

And how you build your heart with song and laughter,

And rub it baby-soft with tear-washed love.


I think ‘bout love that lights you up and sparkles

As your hands get tough and calloused while you work,

And the sweet, sweet joy that sprouts and grows inside you

As you walk your jaunty way for miles and miles.

By Netta Kanoho

HEADER PHOTO CREDIT:  “geometry shapes 3” by frscspd via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]



(Click on each of the post titles below and see where it takes you…)


Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you would drop a note or comment below and tell me your thoughts.

10 thoughts on “SHAPER CHALLENGE (An Un-Seeing Exercise)

  1. I loved your post. It is most insightful!

    The important thing to consider is that many of our preconceived opinions on life have been formed from when we were very small. Something to consider.

    I took this quote from your post and thought how real it is. “The thing is anybody else’s systems and strategies very often does work, but maybe not for you.”

    Thanks for this insight!

    1. Carolyn, you pinpointed yet another truth, I think, that very often “many of our preconceived opinions on life have been formed from when we were very small.”

      Perhaps that is one of the best reasons to revisit old assumptions and precepts we’ve adopted and check on whether they are still valid for us and if we want to keep them.

      Thank you for expanding the post with your thoughts.

      Please do come again.

  2. Hi Netta,

    I am so confused with the people surrounding me, telling me what is wrong and what is right.  What should and should not I do to make it right?

    Now I built the poem of my life after six decades, retired from my active job. All the experience I have collected so far, I say God directed my life when I was growing up. It was all good then. Now I am on my own as far as I know. I echo your words with synchrony,

    “But my heart got tough and calloused

    And my eyes, sometimes they turned to stone”

    I pray to God every day to keep my good heart and all the good stuff HE had built in me. Now my energy, time, and money are all focused on building myself to feel good and value my work. 

    I will watch the videos and the flicker picture story later.

    Your poems pierce my mind with your brilliant ideas, analysis, images, and all of everything you have in your post. I feel so fortunate to cross your path. May God bless you, my Dear.

    1. Anusuya, I am so very pleased that you are finding my posts (and my poems) engaging and interesting. 

      It seems to me that you are in your transition time now, so of course you are asking yourself all of the big questions.  It can be really frustrating sometimes because you get all dizzy as you try to navigate through all of your changes.

      This is a really good space to be in, you know.  You can use it to check through what has gone before in your life and tell yourself your stories and feel your way through all the lessons you’ve learned along your way as well as look at all the ways you’ve developed yourself from the Little-You that once was.

      Even the parts of yourself that you don’t really like come with built-in lessons and are packed with resources that you can tap when you do start moving towards your own self-determined goals.

      Of course, everybody else is going to try to give you advice that might feel intrusive to you.  And, sometimes you probably will feel like they are trying to co-opt you or dictate your choices for their own benefit.  It’s a part of the deal, I’m afraid. 

      (Somebody once told me, “If you make yourself useful, you will be used.”  It can be a good thing, if you go into it knowing that you are going to learn something that is useful or beneficial to you, something that helps you clarify what it is you really want to do.)

      You just have to give yourself the time to pay attention to how you are feeling about all of these things as you encounter them.

      You’re in Shaper space, girl!  It’s a really powerful space that you can use to suss out which direction you-your- own-self want to go from where you are now.  Congratulations, you lucky thing!

      Please do come again.

  3. Liam Tremblay says:

    What a beautiful article. Yes, every person is a different soul and have abilities to find out. These differences are beautiful cause just think of it, if all people were the same, such a boring world!

    Also, these differences are making the world. People complete each other and each other’s work so the world improves. Everybody is worthy in this world and have a part to complete their aim.

    1. Liam, thank for the visit and for sharing your thoughts.  I do love your re-framing!

      Please do come again.

  4. What a thought-provoking article you have written. Finding your values was so simple after going through your write-up. It is not often that one sits back and thinks about your “position” as to adjusting or shaping the world around you.

    Thanks for providing the time to ponder on this thought. The videos you have posted are great tools to spend time with oneself.


    1. Rohit, thank you.  I think you may have sussed out one of my purposes for all the blathering I do on my blog.  I am trying to help my readers make a little space for pondering and deep thinking and offering tools with which they can explore their own worlds and, maybe, work them around to better.

      I’m glad it worked for you!

      Please do come again.

  5. Akumendoh says:

    Thank you for highlighting the power of the human mind to shape our own reality and create our own worlds. It is fascinating to think about how different people can have such varied perspectives and ways of seeing the world around them.

    While we may have commonalities and similarities with others, our unique minds can also lead to confusion and disagreement. Your suggestion to shape ourselves to fit into the consensus world or shape the world around us to make room for ourselves is a simple yet thought-provoking concept.

    I am left wondering, how can we balance these two approaches in our daily lives? Have you ever found yourself struggling to reconcile your own perspective with those around you? How do you navigate these situations?

    1. Thanks for your visit, Akumendoh.  You’ve asked some good questions.

      Myself, I tend to trust my own perspectives rather than those of other people.  Mostly that’s because I understand how and why I’ve come to see things the way I do and I can often see where my planned actions will take me as a result.

      However, I am always interested in and curious about how other people see this complicated consensus world of ours and I do spend time asking them how their world-view works for them. 

      I’ve found that people like it when you ask how their thing works.  Sometimes you learn some new, more effective strategies that you can use your own self or you get a better understanding about a position that is very different than yours.

      I think you do that already…and very well.  Thanks for asking!

      Please do come again.

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