ANOTHER IPS (Inner Peace Symptom):  An understanding that Life is an opportunity to play.  [What you play (and how and why and when you move) often makes for a lot of difference in the results you get.]

Playing and helping other people play is my greatest “happy.”

I still think that one of the best things I ever did was to choose to look at all of the different aspects of Life-Its-Own-Self as play.

The possibilities inherent in that one excite me.   It sure does keep things cheerful in my world.


More than 15-some years ago, I stumbled across a book, FINITE AND INFINITE GAMES:  A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility by James P. Carse.

By that time the book was already old news.  It had been published in 1986.

It’s one of those books that you either love or you hate.

I mean, what do you do with a book that starts out with, “There are at least two kinds of games.  One could be called finite, the other, infinite.  A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.

It goes on from there, with concept after concept piled up on top of contradictory concept, simultaneously building up and out and in and down towards the final comment (number 101) on the last page of this slim book, “There is but one infinite game.”

The book contains no actionable steps, no five- or ten- or twelve-step programs…or any steps at all.  There are no exercises, no tips, no shortcut life-hacks.  All it has going for it are musings about life and the ways you can play in it by a guy who is a certified deep thinker who thinks big thoughts.

Carse was Professor of Religion at New York University when he wrote the book.  At the time, he had won the University’s “Great Teacher Award.”  He retired in 1996 after thirty years of teaching religion and as head of the department at the University.

Carse wrote other books as well — such scintillating things as DEATH AND EXISTENCE:  A Conceptual History of Human Mortality, BREAKFAST AT THE VICTORY:  The Mysticism of Ordinary Experience, and THE SILENCE OF GOD:  Meditations on Prayer and several others.  Wo!

(I never did feel the urge to explore the guy’s other books so I can’t tell you much about them.)

You’ll find a lot of great takeaways in Carse’s “Game” book (if you happen to be the sort who gets stuck in head-games and are way into thinking about life and meaning and mana).  It’s one of those books that makes you nod and go yes, yes, yes.

The book is a deep dive into the patterns and templates you can look for as you construct your own life-story.

“Kaleidoscope” by Nigel Wade via Flickr [CC BY-SA 2.0]
It is a reminder that, at any given time, you are intimately involved in a grand and timeless game and it is you who gets to decide whether you will play the thing as a Finite game or as part of the Infinite one.


Carse describes the ways of playing used in each kind of game and he delineates the underlying patterns of them as well.  It is a bit like a play-book for Life, I think.  He points out the differences in the moves that players in either game – Finite or Infinite – make and what the results of that way of moving is likely to be.

Carse does tell some good stories along the way.

It is a fascinating study, especially if, like me, you are prone to trying to figure out which of the two basic games the other people wandering through your life have chosen to play.

The thing the book is really good at is helping you to focus on whether you are choosing to play in a Finite game or the Infinite game your own self, and it helps you figure out which moves you need to consider making.

“Strategy” by tylerhoff via Flickr [CC BY-2.0]
Through the years, Carse’s FINITE AND INFINITE GAMES has been the one constant book that sits on my writing desk among a number of changing titles that I have used to help to nudge my thinking in varied and sometimes helpful directions.

It has often been a starting point when I sit down to examine and consider yet another confusing tangled mess that I’ve somehow either wandered into or precipitated as a result of general dumbness.

The book has been most useful at helping me to suss out the options and directions that possess some modicum of grace from the many possible moves that I could take.

“Highways Crossing” by Michael Theis via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]
I confess that I do prefer to be an Infinite Game player.  I especially like the goal of continuing the play.

I am not particularly fond of “winning.”  (Winning usually means the game stops, and then I just have to go find some other game and start all over again.  Pfui!)

However, I also know that often it is necessary to play in the assorted Finite games that occur within the Infinite one because sometimes that’s the only way to get to a place where you can either continue to help keep the play going or expand it in all kinds of more interesting directions.

(For me, the bonus has always been getting some pretty good poems.)


I suppose I do also have to point out that if you are not interested in constructing your own life-story or if you are determined to win (or at least not lose) at whatever game you are playing then you will probably find the book a bore.

You’ve already plunked on playing some Finite game or other. You know your playing field.  You’ve got the rules down.  Your goal is to win the game and that is that.  (Good fortune go with you.  See ya!)

If you have not had practice contemplating paradoxes and playing around with metaphors and analogies and do not see the value of that sort of play, the book will not resonate with you.  It’ll join the pile of other woo-woo nonsense and romantic novels in the used book sale down the street.

“Karim’s Used Books Nehru Place – Delhi” by Alan Morgan [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
If standing in uncertainty gives you the heebie-jeebies, then the thoughts and constructs contained in the book will seem like a major pile of high-browed hoo-hah.

If you have very strong ideas about how the world works that allow no room for wiggling, then it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to unlock the wonders the book contains.  Instead, you will declare that the assumptions you’ve adopted about the world you see are the only truths for you and you will confidently move forward along the paths they dictate.

And that can be a good thing too.


Carse’s book is a magnificent example of a thing that psychiatrist Albert Rothenberg, a noted researcher on the creative process, calls “Janusian thinking.”

The online Wiktionary says the phrase is an adjective that means, “having or relating to the ability to conceive and use multiple antithetical or opposite thoughts simultaneously.”

Rothenberg named it after the Roman god of thresholds and transitions, Janus.  Janus is typically depicted as a guy with two faces each facing in the opposite direction.  Not only does Janus have eyes in the back of his head, he’s got a whole other face.

“Janus” by Mike Scoltock via Flickr [BY-NC 2.0]
Janusian thinking is what you do when you grab two or more contradictory ideas and hold them together in your mind until they stop fighting and start playing nice together.

What you try to do while the ideas are in there duking it out is to look at the captive concepts deeply enough so that you can come up with a third idea that will allow you to unlock the strengths and energies contained in those ideas and combine them in new and novel ways.

Talking about Janusian thinking is not easy, mostly because it is so foundational that it’s like talking about taking your first baby-steps.

“Baby Steps by Kevin Kratka via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]
When you were a baby, you tried so very hard to get vertical and to totter forward.  Because you took those brave first steps and kept building up your skill at stepping, all kinds of other interesting things started happening as well.  All of a sudden you could move in all kinds of directions and get into all kinds of mischief.

  • Janusian thinking’s like those first baby-steps.  Your very first attempts at it are going to feel terribly awkward and clumsy.
  • Janusian thinking is “counter-intuitive.”  It goes against most people’s automatic gut reactions and often you may not find support for the thoughts you are thinking.
  • Janusian thinking is also another way of Un-Seeing.

Its function is to take you past your first thoughts and your default settings, your habitual patterns and your carefully built-up life routines.  If you succeed in getting past them, you will reach a space where you can construct new ways of doing and making things.

“Fluke Story (55 Chevy Bel Air Sports Coupe Frame Off Restoration)”

While you’re learning to use this particular style of thinking — until you get the hang of deconstructing your deeply held assumptions, looking at things from every angle as the battling ideas wrestle each other into the ground — the whole process is going to be very effortful and it’s likely to feel sl-o-o-w.

This means you are going to feel really, really stupid doing it.

Keep doing it and it does speed up.  You can reach a place where just sticking the contradictory ideas into the ring starts a whole string of new ideas popping up in your head.

“Fight” by MAZA FIGHT JAPAN via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
Once you get the hang of deconstructing old preconceptions and letting go of past judgments as well as nurturing a multiplicity of perspectives and learning how to transmute the knowledge you gain from them into new understandings, you’ll be able to choose more effective ways to address whatever situation you might encounter.

That’s just a fancy way of saying you’ll be able to come up with fresh ideas that just might work way better than anything you’ve ever tried has worked before.  (Hey!  You may even be hailed as an innovator-extraordinaire or the next Steve Jobs or Warren Buffet or one of those Nobel Prize winners that Atherton studied or some such thing.)

Janusian thinking is a component of several higher systems of thought-making that have been studied by assorted guys in white lab coats:

  • cognitive thinking – the process by which you transmute the knowledge you get from experience, thought and sensory input and turn it into understandings you can use to solve problems or make stuff
  • design thinking – creative problem-solving that focuses on the people for whom a new product is being created
  • synergistic thinking – a process that blends and balances logical linear thinking and associative non-linear thinking to boost creativity, innovation and Making

It could also be viewed as a simplistic description of the foundations for Taoist and Zen thought processes, for shamanistic or indigenous thought precepts, and for other high-wizard stuff.

Do this and eventually you get to play in Harry-Potter-World…or maybe you’ll get to be the Sorceror’s Apprentice.

“the hat” by Camron Flanders via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]


The downside of all of the processes that start with Janusian thinking is that they can also multiply the variety, intensity and severity of the mistakes you can make…if they don’t paralyze you with the sheer volume of possibilities.

Sometimes when you are dancing on the edge, you make a mis-step and fall off.  Other times you stand on the edge of chaos and look into the Void and see the Void looking back at you.   (Yeep!)

Those who depend on their world staying concrete and linear and rational won’t go there.  (This thing is not for the faint-hearted nor for those who panic when they are stuck in ambiguity.)

It’s also not for those who are not seriously into examining their underlying motives and intentions.  (Intent gets really important when you play in Harry-Potter-World.)

Janusian thinking is the place where innovative geniuses go. It is also the place where the mad ones stay.

This is the place where the old maps say, “Here there be dragons.”

“Here there be dragons” by gomagoti via Flickr [CC BY-SA 2.0]
And if you choose to go there, it can, as well, make it really hard for you to talk to regular folks who have never left the living room couch.

Those who walk the trails into the Mystic and the serious psychedelic rangers go through initiation rites that require “dying to the world” in some way or other.  So do those whose intense creative, athletic or scientific bent takes them way into the middle of the Zone.

Janusian thinking is exactly like that.

All of the ones who choose to play the Infinite Game are often more than a little strange.

“La Longue Route” by marcovdz via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
If you choose, instead, to become a poet or a storyteller, however, then it can all turn into play.  Good poets and storytellers have no problem talking to people.  It’s what they do.

Here’s a poem about a clash between someone playing a Finite game and another who’s more into the Infinite one….


There she goes, stomping along strong,

Being Godzilla attacking Tokyo.

(I guess I’ve been cast as Tokyo.)



My job, it says here, is to stand there

Getting pounded and ground down

By big, stomping feet,

And pushed and shoved aside

By strong, powerful shoulders,

Pummeled by massive fists all the while.

I’m supposed to bend and break

Before the temper-tantrum wrath

Of riled-up Biggie.



My role, it says here, is to quake

As roars and growls fill the air.

I get to dash around in panic

Trying to find a place to hide

My own small self.



Oh, and, it says here,

There’s supposed to be

A lot of bleeding with street-pizza decorations

Strewn about in the general mayhem,

All those slash wounds from gy-normous claws

Having taken their toll.



Gee, it says I’m supposed to weep in despair.


This won’t work.

Sorry, babe.

You need to call Central Casting again.

They sent you the wrong character actor, I think.


See, mostly I spend my time playing at being Wind.

I’m not sure this Godzilla movie

Has much use for gentle breezes and sweet, soft zephyrs.

I don’t think it can use snazzy updrafts and down-drafts

And slider-currents that support cunning wings.

There are no sails around here I can fill

To push the story forward.

And I’m pretty sure you won’t like

The hurricanes, the tornadoes and the cyclones

I’ve been developing.


Ah, well…

So it goes.

See ya….

By Netta Kanoho

Header picture credit:  “House of the Sun” by David Fulmer via Flickr [CC BY-2.0]



(Click on each of the post titles below and see where it takes you…)


Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you would drop a note or comment below and tell me your thoughts.


28 thoughts on “PICK YOUR GAME (Another IPS)

  1. Hi! In this analogy of life as a game and finite and infinite points of view, you have drawn useful lessons for all. I liked the comparison between a baby giving those baby steps and the challenges we encounter in life. Getting vertical to totter forward is a challenge. But with persistence we learn to walk. 🙂 Useful comparison! 

    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Henry.  You made me smile.

      Please do come again….

  2. That is a great way to look at life that it is full of adventures and we just have to play along with it. We can feel fulfilled by helping other people play the game of life as well. (I knew that the game came from somewhere!) i love how the book started and I sure want to participate in a finite game. I will have to check that book out. 

    Maybe the book perspective of life is that we cannot control the outcome? That is why there was no guide. Basically, just tells us to follow our intuition and play along with the game? I may need to read the book and really give it some thoughts.

    I feel like this is the challenge. I need to check out his books now, want to know what is going on in his brain and his interpretation of life. But, I will first start with finite and infinite games.

    Thank you for sharing a good book and I enjoyed your poem as always 🙂

    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Nuttanee.  You are on your way, babe.  Looking at where you’re standing and finding new ways to play is fun!

      I’m glad the post intrigued you.  Please come again….

  3. Ronald Otochi says:

    I never really thought of life as a game. That picture with highway crossing was absolutely brilliant. I have always been driven by a passion to win but, your article made me stop & reflect whether that’s a good thing in the end? But you are right, some playing a finite game within a infinite game might be the only way to a place where you can stop or move forward. Your article put me in a reflective mood about my life. I enjoyed reading your article. 

    1. Yay!  Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Ronald.  I am so glad that my post put you in a reflective mood.  (Did my job.  One point for me!  Cool!)

      Please do come again.

  4. Whew!  What a post!  

    You have certainly written about something outside my realm of experience. So, to get into this game or explore the experience, I gather it is first necessary to buy the book?  Do you sell the book on your site?  I didn’t see a place where I could buy it.

    It appears to me that the book would teach you a great deal about thinking outside the box.  If you are brave enough to try, I believe it would also be a way to get to those core habits in your subconscious that have been holding back your progress.  Then, in the course of the game, you’d have a chance to change them to something more positive.

    It sounds to me like it could possibly be a great help to those of us really wishing to move forward.

    1. Hey Fran, welcome back! You don’t need the book to get into Janusian thinking.  As an entrepreneur you probably are already doing it without knowing that you are.  Whenever there’s a gap between what you want to happen and what is already happening, trying to figure out how to get across that gap is going to involve Janusian thinking.

      For example, suppose there’s a deal on the table and the two parties are really far from meeting halfway.  If you are the one who is trying to make the thing work, then you’ve got to sit there and consider this one’s viewpoint and that one’s viewpoint and then find the things they agree upon or can make compromises about and all of you can work together to make the thing happen.

      Or, if you’re trying to make a product and the people you want to sell it to are all yawning, then you’ve got to take a hard look at what is missing in your product, what you can add or subtract or whatever to induce somebody to pull out their wallet.  

      All the Big Brains are doing is studying what us humans already do.  And if us regular folks can figure out what we are doing, it seems to me, then we’ll really be able to do it better.

      Just sayin….

      Please do come again.


  5. This is definitely a new way to look at things.  It would take a lot of practice.  You could learn a lot playing such games.  I will have to explore Janus a little more before I jumped into something like this.  

    Changing the way you look at things can be a bit frightening at first.  For me I hate change but I would try if I know it would help me down the road.  

    This is definitely something to reflect upon.  You did an excellent job bring this subject to our attention.  I enjoyed reading it very much.

    1. Jon, thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts.  You are right, changing your perspective does get a bit frightening sometimes.  But, very often, it can give you effective new strategies for moving.  I highly recommend it.

      Please do come again….

  6. We need to discover what is true in our environment, with all our obsessions and cruelties, which is false and then we will discover what is true. 

    The book is a valuable read that is measured by a vitality that thought cannot hold, one worth reading since all else is filled with secondhand information. 

    The story is within you, immense experience, deep-rooted verses, anxieties, sorrows, pleasures and the beliefs that man has accumulated over the centuries. Thank you.

    1. Kozakiv, thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts.  It is a truth.  It’s already inside you.  You just have to be willing to go find it.

      Please do come again….

  7. Well thought out, Netta. It would not surprise me to find that the book by James P. Carse does not appeal to the majority. After all, one might argue that there’s nothing wrong with wanting a win. 

    I can say that the idea of continuing the game certainly appeals to me. This would be my first of coming across the Janusian thinking and I must say that it’ll definitely need some getting used to. 

    A lot to take away from this. Glad you shared 

    1. Rhain, thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts.  As you say, there is nothing wrong with wanting a win.

      At the same time, I like continuing to play way more.  Choices, choices, choices.

      Please do come again.

  8. Oh, I like the concept of the book with the distinction between finite and infinite games. It’s is an interesting thing how we love to play sports, but once the game is won or lost, the game (and the fun part) is suddenly over. 

    I am going to add this right away to my reading list, as it does sound like a good source of inspiration that I would enjoy. Like you, I think I’m most interested in continuing the play.

    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Aly.  Game on!

      Please do come again.

  9. Unstated but omnipresent in your article is the idea that Life doesn’t happen to us (or at least, we don’t have to let it). We *play* at Life, so it is up to us to play the hand we’re dealt, not just take it as a fait accompli.

    I often wonder if people would write this sort of thing if they were born in say, the slums of Kolkata, or Rio de Janeiro, or in war-torn Angola. Then I am reminded of all the magnificent people who were born in truly terrible circumstances, yet found the strength and wisdom to rise above it all and win at the game of Life.

    Articles like yours are necessary to remind us, from time to time, to stop being negative and to look beyond our narrow confines to see the ‘big picture’. To realise that we’re not the first to face adversity, nor will we be the last.

    You’ve written a fine article and I’m glad I read it. Keep it up.

    1. Tayo, thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts.

      I do agree that there is a heck of a lot of awful in the world.  And, as you say, there are all of those magnificent souls who are such inspirations for the rest of us.  

      I’m so glad the post resonated with you.

      Please do come again.

  10. Oh you have made another great post!  I was saddened to see that the idea of winning at all cost might be a reason to not read the book haha.  I have always been very ambitious, and I am the type of person who will probably do almost anything to make sure that I get what I want.  

    I know it’s a terrible way of thinking for some, but for me, it’s just an ambitious way of thinking.

    1. You’re back!  Cool!  

      Ain’t nothing at all wrong with being ambitious, Jessie.   It provides the motivation to get you moving toward where you want to be, after all.

      Janusian thinking (and ruminating on the Infinite Game) just expands your range of possible actions, I think. 

      Me, I like having space around me and a multiplicity of ways to move forward to where I’m going.  (Confusion is a given, however, when possibilities multiply and lots of folks aren’t really comfortable with walking around all dizzy.)

      Please come again….

  11. You are an excellent writer!  It is fun to read an article that seems so poetic.   Playing at Life is an exciting way of putting your thoughts down to be enjoyed by others.  

    I think it is important to always consider the feelings of others when making decisions and coming up with new concepts especially if we are trying to help others be their best.

    1. Kay, thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts.

      I agree that it’s important to consider other people’s feelings whatever you do.  After all, without all of those other guys, the only game you get to play is Solitaire.  That can get really boring very fast.  It can also get a lot lonely.

      Please do come again.

  12. Lawrence Dora says:

    Hey there Netta,

    I have always been free spirited and an out of the box thinker. I always go through as if it was a game, a really fun game where I try to really enjoy myself while trying to win at the same time.

    Your insights and explanation on Janusian thinking really highlight this. I totally agree that this not for everybody. Some people habitually go through life calling that a plan which does not make sense.

    Although I was practicing Janusian Thinking, I did not really know about it until I read your article. I am definitely going to educate myself more on this topic.

    Thank you for the great article.



    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Lawrence.  I’m glad you recognized Janusian thinking.  It really is a grand tool for a do-it-yourself life.

      Please do come again.

  13. LMercadal says:

    Wow, your site is beautiful!!!  I enjoyed reading your post “Be your own sanctuary”.  It gave me a brand new outlook on the word sanctuary. The photos and artwork  you have are so beautiful and peaceful. I really love that you offer other poet to post their poems on your website.  

    1. Thanks for visiting the site, LMercadal.  I am so glad you enjoyed it.

      Please do come again.

  14. Stratos K says:

    A new perspective in life the way you describe things.

    But I believe most people don’t see their lives the same way. They tend to see things in a more simple linear form. They go about their business without stopping for a minute and thinking if what they do is really to their liking or if the system have put them into an infinite loop that consumes us rather than let us reach our full potential.

    1. You’re probably right, Stratos. 

      However, my own thought is that other people are living their lives their way.  That’s their choice.  Knowing, choosing and exploring a different way for your own self might just lead to different results. 

      Just sayin’….

      Please do come again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)