OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom):  an understanding that the wish for other people’s approval makes you about as sturdy as a block of jello.  [The balance for that seems to be knowing where you want to go and walking towards it, all the while looking for obstacles and for workarounds.  If you do that, you’ll be too busy to worry about what They think….]

Other people’s opinions are so important to you when you’re a young person.  It’s like everybody wants to tell you how to bend yourself into some kind of pretzel or other.

Very often, it’s all done with the best of intentions, but the real is all that listening to other people’s opinions and following what they say just bends you out of shape and makes you walk funny.

You forget who you truly are.  And sometimes you never really do find out.


That video, Why People’s Opinions of You Aren’t Real, was put together by American actor, comedian and motivational speaker Kyle Cease.


Cease has been a comedian from the age of 12.  By the time he was 15, Cease was already a regular in comedy clubs and was a headliner at 18 years old.  He was ranked #1 on Comedy Central’s Standup Showdown in 2009.  The guy is good.

About six years ago, Cease started combining his comedy with speaking on “transformational” topics – things like learning to let go, the art of allowing and being in the moment.  He developed weekend-long impromptu performance/workshop events that he calls “Evolving Out Loud – Where Comedy and Transformation Meet.”

Cease spends a lot of his time speaking before large audiences at his college lectures, in seminars, and at corporate conferences and summits.  Mostly he “aims at helping people let go of their fears and anxieties to become more connected to the moment.”

His new book, I HOPE I SCREW THIS UP:  How Falling In Love With Your Fears Can Change the World, came out in 2017.


I think the underlying message of the video is an important one.  It seems to me that since the best and most valuable thing you can give the world is the real you, it is probably a good thing to find out who you are and go do that.

Here’s a poem….


When I was young and empty,
Stirring awake from my womb dreams,
I knew the shallow dreams of youth,
The ones They told me were proper
For my age and my circumstance.

When I was young and empty,
My innocence intact,
I reached for the fool’s gold plate
Heaped with the very things They
Had dismissed or discarded.

When I was young and empty,
My heart a-gleam with legend,
They force-fed all Their pasty-livered axioms
Directly into my cranium ’til I waddled…
Stuffed with their dribblings and drools.

When I was young and empty,
Tender as a green, exploring sprout,
They filled me with Their chronic hungers
And old dreams, as though
It were up to me to make them work out right.

When I was young and empty….
While I am no longer young,
I have become again empty….
I have vomited up Their convoluted hair balls,
Their tinsel-wrapped barbed wire knots.
I have spewed out Their old
And breathless rants and raves,
Expelled Their fruitless loops…..

Behind piles of detritus and debris,
The overflow of Other People’s Madnesses,
Is the door to my long-hidden, secret place,
The haven where the river of my
Own undying dreaming flow.

They wait for me there, the dreams,
Now that I am no longer young but am again empty.

by Netta Kanoho

Picture credit:  Sunrise, Sunrise by Chris Chabot via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]

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14 thoughts on “OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

  1. i had commented on the site comment area, but the site is interesting, leading one to seek that inner peace which is the sites title. Great…uh, i don’t see links to any areas or “you have questions get with me?” type of statements or anything related except the comment section, which is still ok. Fine tuning is needed, I see. This in turn will help me on my ideas. Thanks

    1. You’re welcome, Lester. And thank you!

  2. Thank you for the great post in which I was happy to share on my google account. I also appreciate the video as it helping me with my personal journey.

    You see, I recently recognised that I was always seeking other people’s approval and in that seeking, I was disconnecting from what I wanted, and Cease’s wise words have helped me with a means of how I can stop this unhealthy behaviour.

    1. Hey Amberlee….I’m so glad that the post helped. Please come again!

  3. Brandon Cox says:

    Wow. That last line, “They wait for me there, the dreams, Now that I am no longer young but am again empty,” is pretty powerful. It evokes so much emotion of both regret and longing, and it’s motivating in its own way. Thanks for writing this today! I’m about to turn 40 and kinda needed it.

    1. You’re welcome, Brandon. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts. Please do come again!

  4. Lynne Huysamen says:

    I had my 40th birthday this week and I am so excited for my forties. I remember a while back a woman telling me how amazing her forties were because she just did not care what other people thought of her and she did what she wanted to make herself happy without worrying about the opinion of others. 

    I can now totally relate. I was a troubled teen and a misfit. I always felt like I didn’t belong and in my twenties I was looking for approval in all the wrong places. In my thirties I started growing up and only now at the age of 40 I really know who I am and I am happy and comfortable in my own skin. It took a while!

    1. Good on ya, Lynne!  Thanks for the visit and for sharing your story.  

      Please do come again….

  5. Listening to other people’s opinions and letting yourself get controlled by everybody around you can be a way of life that leads to ultimate regret. 

    So, the best is to look inside yourself and find who you truly are without waiting for people to define you to you and detect your life for you. 

    Doing what you like doing and doing it for your self, brings more self fulfillment that trying to pleases everybody. 

    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Peace.  I do appreciate it.

      Please do come again.

  6. The moment I saw the topic of the article.I immediately fall in love.The inner peace come within by being your real self despite all other people’s opinions.Have been following and seeking other people’s approval,leading me away from my dreams and goals, and Cease’s wise words in poem have enlighten to Stop that manner.
    This is a wonderful article and I hope to revisit for more articlesve  like this.Welldone

    1. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Abreal.  I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

      Please do come again.

  7. I really love poems and always have.
    I like that other people’s opinions matter because they do.
    You absolutely learn from others.
    No longer young and empty is really good. I get so much meaning from it. It makes perfect sense and I like the way it is put into words and how it comes across.
    Looking to others for their thoughts is a very positive way to get help and their words and thoughts can be very rewarding.
    Thank you for some awesome words!

    1. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Rob.  I’m glad you liked the post.

      Please do come again.

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