OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom):  an understanding that the wish for other people’s approval makes you about as sturdy as a block of jello.  [The balance for that seems to be knowing where you want to go and walking towards it, all the while looking for obstacles and for workarounds.  If you do that, you’ll be too busy to worry about what They think….]

Other people’s opinions are so important to you when you’re a young person.  It’s like everybody wants to tell you how to bend yourself into some kind of pretzel or other.

Very often, it’s all done with the best of intentions, but the real is all that listening to other people’s opinions and following what they say just bends you out of shape and makes you walk funny.

You forget who you truly are.  And sometimes you never really do find out.

WHY PEOPLE’S OPINIONS OF YOU AREN’T REAL

That video, “Learn to Crush Opinions”, is part of a weekly YouTube interview show, Impact Theory, that is hosted by American entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu, the co-founder of Quest Nutrition, a unicorn startup valued at over $1 billion.  It was uploaded in 2018.

Usually on his show Bilyeu talks with the world’s highest achievers (many of whom are his friends) about how they unlocked their own potential and massively impacted the world.  You can check out the Impact Theory site and find out more about Bilyeu by clicking on the button below.

click-here

My favorite takeaway from the video, which is built around thoughts from stellar performers like Les Brown, Booker T. Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Naval Ravikant (the co-founder of Angel List), was this Bilyeu thought:  “Your future must always be bigger than your past.

The best thing about the video is that he breaks down how you can make it so.

FINAL THOUGHT

I think the underlying message of the video is an important one.  It seems to me that since the best and most valuable thing you can give the world is the real you, it is probably a good thing to find out who you are and go do that.

Here’s a poem….


NO LONGER YOUNG AND EMPTY

When I was young and empty,
Stirring awake from my womb dreams,
I knew the shallow dreams of youth,
The ones They told me were proper
For my age and my circumstance.

When I was young and empty,
My innocence intact,
I reached for the fool’s gold plate
Heaped with the very things They
Had dismissed or discarded.

When I was young and empty,
My heart a-gleam with legend,
They force-fed all Their pasty-livered axioms
Directly into my cranium ’til I waddled…
Stuffed with their dribblings and drools.

When I was young and empty,
Tender as a green, exploring sprout,
They filled me with Their chronic hungers
And old dreams, as though
It were up to me to make them work out right.

When I was young and empty….
But…
While I am no longer young,
I have become again empty….
I have vomited up Their convoluted hair balls,
Their tinsel-wrapped barbed wire knots.
I have spewed out Their old
And breathless rants and raves,
Expelled Their fruitless loops…..

Behind piles of detritus and debris,
The overflow of Other People’s Madnesses,
Is the door to my long-hidden, secret place,
The haven where the river of my
Own undying dreaming flow.

They wait for me there, the dreams,
Now that I am no longer young but am again empty.

by Netta Kanoho

Picture credit:  Sunrise, Sunrise by Chris Chabot via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]

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18 thoughts on “OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS: Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

  1. i had commented on the site comment area, but the site is interesting, leading one to seek that inner peace which is the sites title. Great…uh, i don’t see links to any areas or “you have questions get with me?” type of statements or anything related except the comment section, which is still ok. Fine tuning is needed, I see. This in turn will help me on my ideas. Thanks

    1. You’re welcome, Lester. And thank you!

  2. Thank you for the great post in which I was happy to share on my google account. I also appreciate the video as it helping me with my personal journey.

    You see, I recently recognised that I was always seeking other people’s approval and in that seeking, I was disconnecting from what I wanted, and its wise words have helped me with a means of how I can stop this unhealthy behaviour.

    1. Hey Amberlee….I’m so glad that the post helped. Please come again!

  3. Brandon Cox says:

    Wow. That last line, “They wait for me there, the dreams, Now that I am no longer young but am again empty,” is pretty powerful. It evokes so much emotion of both regret and longing, and it’s motivating in its own way.

    Thanks for writing this today! I’m about to turn 40 and kinda needed it.

    1. You’re welcome, Brandon. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts. Please do come again!

  4. Lynne Huysamen says:

    I had my 40th birthday this week and I am so excited for my forties. I remember a while back a woman telling me how amazing her forties were because she just did not care what other people thought of her and she did what she wanted to make herself happy without worrying about the opinion of others. 

    I can now totally relate. I was a troubled teen and a misfit. I always felt like I didn’t belong and in my twenties I was looking for approval in all the wrong places. In my thirties I started growing up and only now at the age of 40 I really know who I am and I am happy and comfortable in my own skin. It took a while!

    1. Good on ya, Lynne!  Thanks for the visit and for sharing your story.  

      Please do come again….

  5. Listening to other people’s opinions and letting yourself get controlled by everybody around you can be a way of life that leads to ultimate regret. 

    So, the best is to look inside yourself and find who you truly are without waiting for people to define you to you and detect your life for you. 

    Doing what you like doing and doing it for your self, brings more self fulfillment that trying to pleases everybody. 

    1. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts, Peace.  I do appreciate it.

      Please do come again.

  6. The moment I saw the topic of the article.I immediately fall in love.The inner peace come within by being your real self despite all other people’s opinions.Have been following and seeking other people’s approval,leading me away from my dreams and goals, and the wise words in poem have enlighten to Stop that manner.

    This is a wonderful article and I hope to revisit for more articlesve  like this.Welldone

    1. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Abreal.  I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

      Please do come again.

  7. I really love poems and always have.

    I like that other people’s opinions matter because they do. You absolutely learn from others.

    No longer young and empty is really good. I get so much meaning from it. It makes perfect sense and I like the way it is put into words and how it comes across.

    Looking to others for their thoughts is a very positive way to get help and their words and thoughts can be very rewarding.

    Thank you for some awesome words!

    1. Thanks for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Rob.  I’m glad you liked the post.

      Please do come again.

  8. This is so true – reality, we all are guilty of waiting for the opinion of others.  No matter what an individual feels inside, we have learnt how to please others and neglect ourselves. 

    We get lost trying  be everything to everyone that we forget about doing the things we really want to do. Sometimes the moment someone realizes they are going the wrong way, it’s too late.

    1. I do thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts, Diana.  

      You know the one thing I’ve noticed after re-inventing myself over and over again?  It’s never too late to be the person you feel you were meant to be.  For real, it is as simple as making the decision to step out and then deciding every time you falter to keep on stepping in the direction you want to go.  

      Mostly, the hard part is deciding where you want to go and deciding you’re ready to give it another shot.  (It ain’t over yet and if you’re really bent on doing your own, then it’s like somebody gives you these really cool headphones that block out other people’s noise.  You just have to put them on.)

      Please do come again.  

  9. Hi Netta,

    I really like the topic of the website in general, but especially of the article provided. You have reached a sensitive point, I think, for many people who live under the domination of the opinion of those around them, about them.

    Fortunately, I have been an independent and Self-Confident person since my youth, and the opinion of others about me has never influenced me in any way.

    But unfortunately, I know many adults who still face this problem due to very low Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence.The problem is not when the opinions of others are positive and motivating, but when they are the opposite, psychologically they can put the person in question on the ground. It’s sad, but it’s a reality.

    Thank you for sharing the video, has a powerful message.I also liked the poem written by you, it conveys between the lines what you have in your soul. This is the part of poetry that I like:

    “When I was young and empty,Tender as a green, exploring sprout, They filled me with Their chronic hungers And old dreams, as though It were up to me to make them work out right.”

    Beautiful job. Keep doing it!👍

    1. Diana, thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts and story.  You were fortunate, indeed, to be so solid in your own sense of self.  

      Myself, I’ve been a brat most of my life and it’s served me well.  Probably this comes from being part of a large, extended family of very opinionated folks, all of them were loving as all get-out, and every one of them wanting to tell “Honey Girl” how to act.  (Sigh!)

      With so many directives coming my way, I did get to pick and choose the ones that made sense to me.  The explorations have been a lot of fun.

      Still, and all, I do agree that it is a foundational thing.  Self-awareness and self-acceptance are absolutely necessary for someone who wants to go chasing after butterflies and dreams, building a life that fits right.

      Please do come again.

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