How many times has THIS happened?
You have a really crazy idea that you absolutely, deep down in the pit of your stomach, KNOW will be totally RIGHT for you. You want this. You irrefutably NEED this!
You get a truly awesome limited-time chance to make it happen and it is imperative that you do this thing right now, or else….well, you just keep doing whatever you’re already doing.
Right then fear will rear its ugly head.
You get the shivers running up and down your spine. All the hair on your body — on your arms and behind your neck — stand up. Sweat pours out of you.
Your eyes narrow down and your nostrils flare as you get really, really focused and all the Boogey-Man thoughts take over your brain.
Your head aches because all of your internal sirens are wailing and every one of the alarm bells are bonging and clanging.
Maybe you start trembling. Maybe you want to cry. Maybe you want to throw up.
You get tense and you are all ready to rabbit away…run-run-RUN! Or you freeze in place, paralyzed by all the noise in your head.
(Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you’ll just get a squirmy feeling in the pit of your stomach, nervous foot-shuffling and a really dry throat. Other times it’s just a teensy twinge of tingly nerve endings rather than a full-blown panic attack.)
WARNING! WARNING! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!
I’ll bet that every time you were on the verge of doing something that was different than what you had done before — every time you tried to push the edges of your comfort zone and every time you tried to go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do or faced something that was new-to-you and most uncertain — all this trauma-drama showed up like a scary pop-up.
It is a given: Fear will show up EVERY time you’re growing or going in the direction of your dreams and every time you have to face something new or different or other.
Fear always shows up when you are getting ready to undergo any kind of change — anything that disrupts the life you’ve known so far.
It doesn’t matter that the change is going to bring good things into your life or stop bad things from happening.
It’s Change-with-a-capital-C, and with change there will always be that feeling of risk. There will always be the feeling that you’re stepping out of line somehow.
Basically, the smarty-pants who study such things say that all these body-symptoms of fear are like the blip-blip-blip of the standard-issue radar equipment that’s part of your internal early warning system.
As you go through your day, your mind always scans ahead, looking for things that are out of place or different. When it detects something that is not-the-same, your brain responds by sending out these fear signals throughout your body.
Fear puts you on alert. This is fear’s job. It gets you ready to respond to whatever is coming out of the ethers at you.
Fear is a signal that you are moving into a situation that is different than what you’ve experienced so far.
It is invaluable when you are facing situations that are dangerous and/or life-threatening.
(If you’ve survived for a while in the world, you’ll probably be able to recognize those dangerous or dicey situations easily enough and can work on figuring out how to avoid, mitigate or arrest any developing debacles.)
It becomes problematic, however, when the fear-signals trip you up on your way to your own kind of better.
WHEN THERE’S A TIME-LIMIT
The worst thing about this automatic response-readying system we call “fear” is that it can screw up your ability to take an appropriate action at the time when it’s really needed.
There are times when you are one critical choice away from accepting an opportunity to move forward and reach towards whatever goal you’ve set and that choice is in-your-face right NOW.
If you let the fear-signals stop you, the chance for change will dissipate. It just won’t be there anymore.
Maybe that’s okay for you.
But, what if it’s not?
In one of his blog posts, productivity and marketing guru Seth Godin once pointed out, “By the time the fear subsides, it will be too late. By the time you’re not afraid of what you were planning to start/say/do, someone else will have already done it, it will already be said or it will be irrelevant.”
Godin advises that you can use your fear-signals to guide you in your actions. Rather than shying away or coming to a dead stop, he suggests that you go towards that thing that’s scaring you.
He says, “The reason you’re afraid is that there’s leverage here, something that might happen. Which is exactly the signal you’re looking for.”
If you can make a practice of moving forward to meet and deal with your fear of the opportunity you have been given to make progress in the direction you want to go and to do what you really want to do, then maybe you’ll be able to find more and more ways to keep on doing that.
Maybe you’ll even grow enough to be able to keep on doing it over and over again until you make your dream become real.
The quintessential go-for-it guy, Richard Branson, once said, “Don’t let fear hold you back from achieving your full potential…I know I’d rather look back on life and say ‘I can’t believe I did that’ than ‘I wish I’d done that’. How about you?”
HOW TO GET MOVING WHEN YOU’RE SCARED
The thing you have to understand, though, is that your body is really lousy at math and logic.
Rational thoughts and piles of paper spreadsheets, goals, schedules, and lists of pros and cons as well as to-do lists constructed in your more lucid moments do not help make the fearful, fearsome blip-blip-blipping stop.
Being all prepared and everything won’t get you moving.
This YouTube Video, “The Secret to Stopping Fear and Anxiety (That Actually Works) was published in 2017 by motivational speaker Melanie “Mel” Robbins. She is an on-air commentator on CNN, a television host and a serial entrepreneur.
Her book, THE 5-SECOND RULE: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence With Everyday Courage, goes into detail about the many flavors of fear, anxiety and other negative thoughts. It presents assorted techniques and strategies that allow you to stop fear and anxiety from tripping you up.
The technique Robbins demonstrates in her video is one she developed to help people understand that the kind of fear you experience when you are trying to do something outside your own comfort zone can actually be reframed as “excitement” and can be used to push yourself forward.
“The secret isn’t knowing what to do – it’s knowing how to make yourself do it,” she says.
Here’s a poem:
CALLING OUT CAMP GIRL
Camp girl, camp girl,
Those tiny, tiny dreams of yours are
Way too small for the wings you’ve grown.
Time to spread those wings out now,
Make the world your own.
Camp girl, camp girl,
You’ve been growing big inside.
Playing small won’t cut it now.
There’s no more need to hide.
Camp girl, camp girl,
Winds are calling your name, and
The old fears don’t hold sway.
Now is the time…
It’s your turn to play.
by Netta Kanoho
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