Browsed by
Tag: freeze

PRESS PAUSE AND GO FOR CLARITY

PRESS PAUSE AND GO FOR CLARITY

For more than 20 years now, I’ve beaten my head against the concept of wu-wei, an esoteric bit of a mind-boggle that underlies a lot of the Taoist way of walking.

What to say about wu-wei?  Even trying to describe it makes the people doing the explaining dizzy.

Here’s a You-Tube video featuring British philosopher Alan Watts talking about wu-wei.  It’s one of my favorites.

It was published by AMP3083 in 2017.  The original recording this is taken from is called “Ecological Awareness.”

The guys who run on logic and straightforward thought patterns just dismiss the whole thing as an airy-fairy bit of nonsense.  Martial artists love the stuff and get all mystical-magical about it.

The simplest description tells us that wu-wei is the way of “doing nothing and everything gets done.”

Huh?

(Yeah, I know.  Weird, right?)

FIGHT OR FLIGHT…AND THEN THERE’S FREEZE

After all these years, I’ve finally figured out something.

Mostly we know about the “Fight or Flight” body-reactions we get when something happens to us unexpectedly.

BOOM!  Something happens, and you either put up your fists and snarl, ready to duke it out, or else you run like hell, screaming your head off.

boom
“Boom!” by Thomas Hawk via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]
You can get lots of information and opinions and so on about those Fight or Flight body-reactions. Lots of studies have been done on those reactions and we are the beneficiaries of them all.

There is a third body-reaction that isn’t talked about so much except by guys who are into studying anxiety:  Like deer in the headlights or bunny rabbits or prairie fowl shivering in the grass as a hawk cruises overhead, we freeze in total panic-attack mode at the threat of danger.

nothing-escapes-this-hawk
“Those eyes are so intense nothing escapes this hawk” by Steve Baker via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]
All kinds of studies have been done by the guys in white lab coats about the Freeze as well, but they aren’t as widely known.

Wu-wei, I think, is a lot about that third body-reaction.  It’s part of an ancient theory about the patterns and movements of the flow of energy in the world and how that all works.

After mapping out these patterns and movements and using the I Ching as a repository for their knowledge, Taoist wise guys developed strategies and game plans about how people could work with these patterns of flow to create the world they wanted to live in.

The origins of the theories of wu-wei are lost in the mists of time.

And, it seems to me, the disciplines and practices that developed around it are all about how we can use the Freeze to help us survive whatever has scared us so badly that we cannot think or move or do anything except experience that panic.

We humans do naturally freeze.  The wise guys tell us we can use the Freeze once the panic dies down (and if we’re not dead or maimed severely) to suss out what the heck is going on so we can go do something about it.

Since the wise guys who studied the paradoxes involved in wu-wei and worked on developing the (still-evolving) disciplines were all way gone into the Mystic, they tended to go hog-wild with the poetry of it all and leave us regular folks sitting on the side of the road, confused as all get-out about it all.

(They can’t help that, those wise guys.  When stars get in your eyes, I think, you just naturally lose the ordinary language that regular people use or something like that.)

SO, HERE’S THE DEAL….

Humans are naturally hardwired to handle crisis.

Often we act too quickly as a way of avoiding the crisis or else we distract ourselves from it.  Either way we mostly get smashed.

what-would-dorothy-do
“What Would Dorothy Do?” by Rich via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
The alternative, according to the wise guys, is to stop and do nothing until we achieve clarity.  Once the panic dies down, we can think clearly enough to figure out what to do next (if we haven’t gotten killed off by whatever caused us to freeze.)

Rabbi David Wolpe, author of MAKING LOSS MATTER:  Creating Meaning in Difficult Times, points out, “The gift in pausing is to allow the wave of shock to pass before you are forced to react to the world….The pause allows you to recover yourself enough to figure out the process of integrating whatever the result of the shock is in your life.

all-i-wanted-to-be
“All I wanted to be when I grew up was yours,” by Jessica Kennedy via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
Humans love action.  We are probably addicted to it.

Mostly us humans think when we are doing something – even if it is random, unfocused and uninspired doing – we are being “productive.”

Often we are doing a lot, but nothing much gets done.  We run around like chickens without heads, bumping into things and flopping down futilely.  Not good.

detail-oriented-busywork
“we gals are detail oriented in our busywork” by bptakoma via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]
Soren Gordhamer who wrote WISDOM 2.0:  Ancient Secrets for the Creative and Constantly Connected, says, “Until we can be at peace with nothing happening, in a strange way nothing really can happen since our actions will be an avoidance of non-doing.

Um, yeah.  Even the smartypants guys get poetic around wu-wei.

In other words, rather than splashing around in giant, boggy mud puddles, stirring up the muck all around us, we just have to not-move and not-do, it says here.

We have to forego setting off even more silty muddiness and adding to all the gunk that’s swirling around in the chaotic confusion of it all.

We just have to stop and let the mud settle down so we can see what the heck is going on under our feet.

hana-red-mud-green-trees
“Hana red mud green trees” by Brandy Saturley via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]
Once we can see that there is not some big old hole right in front of us that we are going to fall down into or some big beast waiting to chomp us, we can figure out where to put our feet and maybe get out of that stupid mud puddle.

What we are trying to do, really, is “create conditions that invite opportunities for nothing to occur.”

The problem is, as Gordhamer points out, “The more out of touch and uncomfortable we are with our inner life, the more difficult stopping becomes.

He resurrects that old 1970s hippie bumper sticker, “Don’t just do something, sit there.

By just sitting there — waiting, watching and listening to whatever urgent possible catastrophe is unfolding all around – you make room for not-doing and you stop yourself from just mindlessly doing, doing, doing and getting more and more tangled up.

Maybe you’ll find some fellow “soul-mates” to whom you can talk.

birds-a-tragedy
“Birds: A Tragedy” by Shannon Kokoska via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
Memories of remarkable people who’ve wandered through your life, echoes of old lessons learned from them and all that other stuff in your mind can help you wait for the panic attack to subside.

By sitting still and not doing anything hasty, you also give yourself enough time to figure out the right responses and allow the best answers to show themselves.

Once you’ve got those answers in your grasp, then you can move to go do something that gives you the chance to get outa there!

And, mostly, whatever you do will work better than if you just dive in head-first without checking whether the swimming pool has water in it.

STOPPING 101

There are all kinds of ways to stop yourself from over- or under-reacting to the assorted situations that come up in your life unexpectedly.

Here’s one that was developed by Elisha Goldstein, a licensed psychologist who has written a number of books and who teaches clinically proven mindfulness-based programs on his own and through InsightLA.

Goldstein introduced it in his book, THE NOW EFFECT:  How A Mindful Moment Can Change the Rest of Your Life.

stop-sign
“Stop Sign” by thecrazyfilmgirl via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]
  • S = Stop what you are doing.

  • T = Take a breath. Make it slow and purposeful.

  • O = Observe what is happening around you and acknowledge how you feel right now.

  • P = Proceed after asking yourself, “What’s the most important thing right now that I need to pay attention to?”

Once you’ve answered that P question, you’ll at least have a direction you can go.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Goldstein’s S.T.O.P. strategy is a lot like what the wise guys tell you to do.  The wise guys have more poetic verbiage and way more interesting practices to try, but basically it’s the same stuff.

Here’s what I tell myself to do about it all so that it kind of makes sense for me:

What you have to do is gather in all the nebulous clouds of panicky thoughts about the possibly catastrophic future as well as the feelings you’ve generated about what has happened in the past – both about the most recent incident and about similar incidents that you’ve already worked your way through (or not).

You can reel in all the thoughts and feelings back into yourself and put yourself back into your own body in this present moment right now.

You can then give yourself a state-of-the-body report:

“Okay.  So this happened and this is how my body is feeling right now.  My neck is stiff.  I’ve got a dull pain in my lower back.  My stomach’s upset and I feel like throwing up.  Fine.”

“Okay.  These are my emotions:  I am feeling sad/mad/bad/scared…or whatever.  Fine.”

“Am I dead?  No.  Am I maimed?  No.  Fine.”

(You do this to make yourself solid again and concentrate the you-ness of you back into your body.)

Then you can give yourself a state-of-your-immediate-world report:

“Are the bad guys at the door right this minute?  No.  Has the someday-maybe catastrophe actually happened?  No.  Fine.”

“Are most of the good things in my life still there?  Yes.  Will the sun come up tomorrow?  Yes, probably.  Fine.”

After that, you can start to look at the situation at hand and begin to assess what you can do as damage control or how you can move towards resolving whatever the difficulty is.

You have made yourself ready to go into deep-thinking and maybe if you play around in there for a while you will be able to come to some insights about what your next move will be.

From there you might decide to fight or run or just get on with your day, ignoring the glitch that will probably self-correct without help from you.

And that’s it.

way-of-peace-and-solitude
“Way of Peace and Solitude” by Hartwig HKD via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]
Here’s a poem:


PANIC ATTACK

Okay…here I am again,

Trying to suss out why

This latest scheme of mine

Just sits there like a lump

No matter HOW much energy

I am putting into it.

 

It feels like there’s quicksand

All around me,

Waiting to suck me down, down, down…

Glub, glub, glub.

ARGH!

 

I’m supposed to let go now.

I’m supposed to stop struggling.

I’m supposed to just stop.

Okay.

I can do that.

Sure I can.

 

So, why doesn’t THAT feel like

A really good thing to do?

Here I am on this stupid tuft

of supposedly solid ground.

There’s mist blowing all around.

I cannot see ANYTHING!

 

I could use a rescue here, guys.

Is anybody out there?

EEEP! 

Are those EYES staring at me,

All red and glowing?

Oh, wow!  Oh, gee!  Oh, my!  Oh, me!

 

Ummm….

Wait a minute.

 

I just remembered something.

I am a Dragon.

Dragons have wings.

 

What am I doing standing here

Having a panic attack?

 

Get ON with it, Dumbo!

You can FLY, remember?

created by Netta Kanoho

Header Photo Credit: “portal” by Alice Popkorn via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you would drop a note or comment below and tell me your thoughts.

Get Social....
THAW THE FREEZE

THAW THE FREEZE

It’s famous…the Fight or Flight reaction dichotomy that happens  every time the adrenaline starts pumping through your system as you’re facing yet another new crisis or unfamiliar situation.

It’s a human thing.  I mean, look at us:  Bad eyes, really limited smelling ability, can’t hear well, small teeth, no claws, weak muscles, can’t run, bad at climbing, and on and on.  In a world of predators, we tend to be a lot wary.  We’ve got good reasons.

Depending on your own propensities, you may want to believe that you’ll stand firm and fight your way through whatever obstacles and challenges you must.

Courage and perseverance and never say die…all the full-blown, pump-’em-up motivational stuff plays in your mind as you keep on trucking on.  Forward, forward, always forward.  A valuable and viable option.

Or maybe you want to believe that you will be wily and smart enough to pull a dig and peel on outa there when the odds are overwhelmingly against you.

Retreat and you’ll live to fight another day.  You’ll be able to choose your battleground and marshal your resources more effectively.  Fall back, regroup, and try again.  Another valuable and viable option.

AND THEN THERE’S THE FREEZE

Then there’s the third reaction that doesn’t get quite as much show-time.  It’s called the Freeze.  Think deer in the middle of the road, caught in the headlights of an oncoming sixteen-wheeler.  Few people want to emulate the soon-to-be street pizza, but very often they do.

deer-in-the-headlights
“Deer In the Headlights” by Shena Tschofen via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
The Freeze arises from the fact that we think…a lot.  It’s another very human trait — the one, in fact, that has put us at the top of the food chain and made our species the biggest, baddest predators of all.

THE FREEZE HAS A FANCY NAME

The Freeze is such a prevalent behavior pattern that the smarty-pants scientists even have a name for its extreme form — “tropophobia.”  It’s a genuine, actual condition that can be extremely debilitating and cause all kinds of problems for you.

“Tropophobia,” it says here, is “the fear of moving or making changes.”  People who suffer from it don’t handle surprises well.  They suck at dancing with change.  Even minor changes can cause a complete breakdown.

Tropophobia can be triggered by things like moving to another country, state, city, or even another house in the same neighborhood.  Changing schools or jobs are major obstacles.  Relationships that are changing are excruciating for these folks.

Getting a different vehicle, changing doctors or insurance companies, having new neighbors move in next door, making small changes in set routines, changing your mind or entertaining a new idea….anything that’s different, anything “new and improved” can throw you into a tailspin when the Freeze is your default response.

This is not good.  It’s hard to do your dance when your head’s whirling around and around and you’re feeling dizzy and nauseous.

hurricane-season
“Hurricane Season” by jamelah e. via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

ANATOMY OF THE FREEZE

To some extent, every one of us humans can get overwhelmed by changes that keep coming and coming.  Most of us develop work-arounds and strategies for it that allow us to keep on moving through the changes in outward circumstances or changes in our own feelings and internal landscapes.  Some of us just can’t.

One of the most common traits of people who are affected badly by the Freeze is extreme stubbornness.  Their “Yes-Book” is very small; their “No-Book,” very large.  Things are supposed to happen a certain way and no other way is going to work.  Rigidity is their middle name.

The general anxiety that happens when faced by any change gets blown up into major crisis proportions.  If the anxiety level gets too high a panic attack may set in.

Your heart beats faster and faster.  You have difficulty breathing.  Weakness, fainting, dizziness, tingling or numbness are common occurrences.  You start sweating a lot and may experience chest pains.  Extreme terror grabs you and you spin out.  ACK!

One cause for the condition that stands above the rest, according to the smart guys, is trauma.  Something happened to the sufferer that convinced them that moving made them a target somehow.

Any kind of movement that calls attention to their presence feels dangerous.  For them, it feels better to hide out in the bushes or behind masks rather than to risk an attack that might cause some kind of harm or suffering.

Just the possibility of future suffering or the repeat of suffering that previously occurred gets magnified so badly that they become unsettled and very wobbly.  Who wants to move when the ground under your feet is rocking and rolling and cracks are opening up in front of you?

cracked-earth
“Cracked Earth” by Gerry Thomasen via Flickr [CC BY-2.0]
An extreme need for consistency makes people who suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder prone to getting driven into a frenzy by any change in daily routines.

Others may just be terrified for no real reason at all.  You don’t need a reason to be scared.  Sometimes you just are.

Hey…let’s face it.  Despite our current status as top dog of the world as we know it, humans are basically descended from a long line of brainy runners and cringing scaredy-cats.

The ones who were brave (and unlucky) didn’t survive long enough to HAVE descendants.  Freeze-genes are part of our DNA.

We honor the fearless ones mostly because the majority of us know that inside our own selves there is a terrified heart prone to a heck of a lot of trembling and moaning.

hikers-at-pilot-rock
“Hikers at Pilot Rock” by Bureau of Land Management Oregon and Washington [CC BY-2.0]

SO, HOW DO WE DEAL?

Therapy is one solution touted by the smart guys.  Cognitive-behavior therapy can be helpful.  This type of therapy changes the way you react to a feared stimulus by helping you sort through the options available to you when you are confronted with whatever scares you.

Often, by using these techniques, you can even get some insights into what causes you to freeze up like that.  You use your mind to calm your mind by developing routines and workarounds that help you cope with some feared change or other.

Things like shock or exposure therapy have also been used to treat tropophobia as well, but that just sounds like a refined sort of torture.  (The kid’s scared of the water?  Easy solution:  throw him into the middle of a deep pond.  Watch him drown.  End of problem.)

Medication’s another solution.  Specially designed anxiety medication and/or anti-depressants can alleviate the symptoms of anxiety.  They can also help with the physical symptoms of panic attacks like difficulty in breathing.

However, the side-effects of the drugs can be gnarly and, for real, popping a pill every time you get scared just shoves the fear under the rug for a while.  You’re going to keep tripping over it…again and again and again.

Relaxation techniques, including the beginning stages of meditation and yoga, listening to music and various breathing exercises have been found to be very effective at alleviating anxiety and other symptoms.  Many people choose these as quick and easy methods for coping with various situations as well.

The problem with all of these methods, practices and techniques is that they are coping devices.  When you use them, you relieve and mitigate the assorted symptoms of the problem, but you are still stuck with the basic problem, which is your fear.

It sits there, a raging stream that cuts across your path and the dream you’re chasing is on the other side of the stream.  Treading water in the middle of the stream just doesn’t get you to the other side.

raging-river
“Raging River” by Szoki Adams via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

WHAT ELSE?

Marketing maven Seth Godin had an interesting take on this whole issue in his book, POKE THE BOX.    He points out that things are always moving and flowing.  He calls that flow “flux” and says that engineers can measure the flux of heat or molecular change by measuring movement.

One example he uses is putting an ice cube in a cup of hot tea.  The heat moves from the water into the ice.  The ice melts.  That’s flux.  That’s movement.

iced-tea
“Iced Tea” by EmberEyes via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
The problem is that people often confuse the natural flux and movement of the evolving world around us with risk, and, for real, “risk” is just a state of mind.

The feeling of “risk” is the result when we put some value on a particular outcome.  We want that outcome very badly.  If we don’t get to that particular outcome then we feel we have lost something somehow.

Risk always involves winning and losing.  And risk always brings with it the possibility of failure.  Chances are, the more risks you take the more likely it will be that you will fail at some point.

If you’ve been trained to avoid failure, Godin says, you will be especially averse to taking risks.  Your wonderfully agile mind starts in, showing you all the ways this move or that move could lead to failure.  Not only that, the people around you, who probably don’t like change any more than you do, are likely to chime in as well.

You start getting anxious.  You’re going to lose, Lose,LOSE…oh, no!  So you don’t move.

Anxiety, according to Godin, is “experiencing failure in advance.”  Your mind is doing a ju-jitsu number on you, throwing you for a loop.

Godin likens the reactions of the risk-averse to acting like a rock in the middle of a flowing river.  He says, “People act as though flux – the movement of people or ideas or anything else that’s unpredictable – exposes us to risk and exposes us to failure.  The fearful try to avoid collisions so they avoid movement….”

He tells us, “Like a rock in a flowing river, you might be standing still, but given the movement around you, collisions are inevitable.”

He points out that a log floating down that same river is in the flow of movement and change, but that log is likely to experience a heck of a lot more calm around it when compared to that rock.  Moving with the flow it doesn’t get banged up so much by the floating debris and it can land in a pretty cool place eventually.

its-too-cold-to-jump-in
“It’s Too Cold To Jump In” by Jamie McCaffrey via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]
Godin’s solution to thawing the Freeze is this:  Flex with the flux.  Move.  You are more likely to get to somewhere else pretty much intact.

ANOTHER TAKE

This YouTube video, “Numbing Pain and Joy” presents an important concept:  when you numb pain (or discomfort or fear) you numb joy.

The video was published by KirstyTV, the You-Tube channel for internationally known motivational speaker Kirsty Spraggon whose main focus in her talks and as an interview talk-show host is vulnerability and working through the issues connected with being a bonafide, genuine human being.

Here’s a poem:


PAY ATTENTION

Pay attention!

This is SERIOUS!

Here you are lollygagging down this road

on your way to your Doom.

 

You are ignoring all the smarty-pants prophets.

They tell you how foolish it is to be

refusing to be ruled by inevitability,

refusing to heed their fingers pointing at your fate,

ignoring their gloomy and direful predictions of your predicament.

 

So what happens?

 

This road of yours takes a left.

then it takes a right…

an unexpected corner – OOPS!

pothole here, mud bog there,

mist and shadows,

caves and heights.

 

You move one more jot

along your meandering trail

going hither and yon along yet another cliff edge,

then down some rocky beach,

under the pretty trees,

totally unaware of that stupendous bunch of heavy coconuts

that just misses your head because

YOU stopped to watch some hyperactive orange-and-black butterfly

zigzag-zipping along through the zinnias.

 

Ya know…

This is not so bad.

 

by Netta Kanoho

Header photo credit:  “Glacier” by Douglas Scortegagna via Flickr [CC BY-2.0]

Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you’d drop a comment or note below and tell me your thoughts….

Get Social....

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)