Browsed by
Tag: BuzzFeed Video

DO-BE, DO-BE, DO

DO-BE, DO-BE, DO

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You’re busy, I’m busy, everybody’s busy.  In fact, it seems like everybody’s drowning in busy, busy, busy.

We bounce around doing this, handling that, rushing through our days, knocking off all of our bullets on that mile-long to-do list, steam-rolling through the obstacles, knocking off the challenges and so on and so forth.  Rolling, rolling, rolling ‘til we drop.

But, it’s good, right?  Yup, yup, yup!

Or…is it?

THE NEW DEFAULT

In this TEDxFurmanU talk, “The Busy Identity,” published in 2016, the presenter is Lexie Harvey, then a sophomore at Furman University.  Lexie tells us we need to take a rest.  We need to remember that we are human beings, she says, not human doings.

It got me thinking, this video.  It does, indeed, seem to be the new default for a lot of people.  It’s become a bit of a pissing contest, actually.  “My busy is bigger than your busy.  But, it’s all good…”  (Cue the big grin.)

That “human-Being vs human-Doing” thing has been around for a long time.  It’s a clever phrase that wanna-be wise guys toss around, looking all holier-than-thou.  Another pissing contest.  (Sigh!)

The thing is, humans are not one or the other.  We’re a bit more organic and a lot more integrated than that.  What we choose to Do affects how we Be and the how we Be often dictates what we choose to Do.

There doesn’t seem to be any way around it.

The very wisest of the wise guys and the smartest of the smart guys all agree:  you are (or you become) how you walk in the world.  As Henry David Thoreau pointed out, “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

This irreverent and very silly BuzzFeed Video was published on YouTube in August, 2015.  It does seem to capture the essence of busy quite nicely:

The video was put together by the BuzzFeed Motion Picture video team.  As you probably know already, these guys are the awesome crew that puts together the daily posts on the BFMP’s flagship channel.

MAYBE “BUSY” IS THE NEW “LAZY”?

Sometimes I think the reason we have gotten so awfully good at doing ‘til we drop is mostly because busy is easy.

That’s right.  Think about it.

When your days are filled to the overflowing with that incredible To-Do List you’ve constructed that is way longer and much more varied than the ones any other two people you know are toting around, who has time or energy to even think about what it is you’re actually doing or who you are actually being?

The Real is, it’s not like our one True Self is sitting in some dark recess of our minds waiting to be “discovered.”

Getting still and doing interior explorations is a very useful and ultimately beneficial set of skills for all kinds of reasons, but reports from the guys who actually did that are sort of nebulous and unclear.

Most of them seem to end up advocating dumping Self in favor of connecting to the Oneness of it all or something like that.

If that’s what you want to do, that’s great, but if you’re a bit more concerned with trying to get to your own meaning and mana your own way, it might not be satisfactory for you.

The really cool thing about being human is that we can be lots and lots of different selves.

The best thing about that is if we’re not satisfied with the Self we happen to be doing at any given time, we can actually choose to grow into some other Self we like better.

male-b&w
“Male B&W” by Nuuna Nitely via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]

There’s only one problem.  Growing and changing and transforming ourselves takes time.

As fitness guru Jillian Michaels points out, “Transformation is not five minutes from now, it’s a present activity.  In this moment you can make a different choice, and it’s these small choices and successes that build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self-esteem.”

beauty-of-time
“Beauty of Time” by Hartwig HKD via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]
Michaels is right.  It takes time to build a new body.  Every wise guy there ever was all say it takes time to build a new self.  It very often takes a lot of hard choices, all made one at a time.

Our “busy” may be just a convoluted, very tiring way to avoid making the changes we need to get to the life of meaning and mana we want.

GETTING TO NOT-BUSY

So what does it take to get to not-busy?

One of the simplest and best ways to get free from busy is a thing ordinary folks can understand and do quite handily.  It’s called “selectivity.”  Its other name is “making choices.”

It’s an old and simple truth:  Time is the ultimate resource.  Time is your life.  In fact, time is all that life is.

The price tag for whatever activity you are doing is time.  That means that for each thing you do, you are paying for it with your life.

time-goes
“Time Goes” by giulia gasparro via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
The question then becomes:  Is it worth it?

I listened once to a conversation among a group of old friends – unconventional outliers all – as they shared story after story of their many and varied adventures.  Laughter and heartful moments piled up and we were all feeling well-pleased with each other.

Then one guy, in a pensive moment, said, “You know what I’d like?  I’d like to buy back all the time I was paid to work for someone else.  I wonder what I would have done with all that time.”

Another put in that he’d buy back the time he had wasted on frivolous distractions that have little meaning for him now.

A third said she would take back the years she had spent following a path someone else had set for her.

The evening ended with an explosion of laughter when another said, “But, guys, look at where we are now!  Hasn’t it been a great life?  If I ever get the chance, I know I’d do it all again!”

And I had to think, as I looked at this madcap crew of adventurers and makers and smarty-pants oddballs and quirky spirits, that every one of them had grown into a marvelous human of one sort or another by choosing again and again to follow their own hearts.

bliss-with-a-sunshine-eclipse-heart
“bliss with a sunshine eclipse heart: marco cochrane’s work, treasure island (2014)” by torbakhopper via Flickr [CC BY-ND 2.0]

DE-CLUTTERING YOUR TIME

Getting free of meaningless “busy” means cutting down and weeding out the extraneous stuff in order to focus time and energy on the people we love and the things we want to do.  Actually, it’s an advanced level of de-cluttering.

Instead of organizing your desk, your room, your house and the rest of your environment, using selectivity you can shovel all the detritus out of your time and your life-doings.  (Coincidentally all the other stuff tends to get re-organized too.)

shovel
“Shovel” by Tom Rydquist via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]
All selectivity requires is noticing.  Take a look at what you are doing during your day.  (You may even want to start one more list.)

When you’ve got some breathing space, take a look at your list and choose one activity.  Think about it.  Then start asking yourself some questions.

The two most important ones are these:

  • What do you give to this thing you’re doing?
  • What does it give back?

Other things that might be worth asking are:

  • How does this activity feed you?
  • Does it help?
  • Is it inspiring?

Or:..

  • Does it stoke your fears?
  • Does it bring you down, distorting your worldview or negatively impacting your disposition?

Asking these questions, especially about the things that have become habits or routines, and revisiting the things you sort of take for granted, can help you see what your life is made of.

If you’re satisfied with the results that a particular activity brings into your life then, by all means, keep on doing it.  If not, maybe you want to send it to the recycling bin.

Sometimes as you remove one activity, you’ll notice that a whole chunk of related activities end up in the recycling bin as well.  That’s a bonus.

After a while of doing this you’ll notice that you’re starting to breathe easier.  You’ve got more time to do the things you’ve decided to keep.  Life gets more interesting and more fun.  You can enjoy yourself and savor the life you’ve built.

the-world-around-me
“The World Around Me” by Akhilesh Ravishankar [CC BY-ND 3.0 Unported]
Give it a shot.  What do you want to lose?

Here’s a poem:


DO-BE, DO-BE, DO

There’s a thing going ’round these days;

The Do-Bug is its name.

If you don’t watch out, it’ll get you too

And you’ll never be the same.

 

Your eyes get red from the strain

And tics make your face twitch.

Your ears are blocked by a roaring

And you start acting like a witch.

 

Your body moves in fits and starts

Your stomach will lurch and roll,

And your heart will shrink to a peanut

As it drains your innermost soul.

 

Your hands reach out like claws

That hold on to things real tight,

And your legs can’t keep still…

You want to run out of sight.

 

You hurry-scurry in a flurry,

Rushing here and there,

And you never stop to ask yourself

The how, the why, the where.

 

It attacks all your nerve endings.

It festers in your brain.

And as it progresses,

You frequently go insane.

 

Do this!  Do that!  Do the other!

Do it for this cause or for that!

Do it now or lose forever!

Why’d you do it, you dirty rat?

 

The Do-Bug latches onto you

And shakes your fundament,

Makes you think you’ll get to Heaven

And it’ll use you until you’re spent.

 

The cure is very simple.

There’s no need for pills or booze.

Just stop whatever you’re doing,

Let be, and take a snooze.

by Netta Kanoho

Header picture credit:  “Hurry” by Christer via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you would drop a note or comment below and tell me your thoughts.

Get Social....
TIME HORIZONS

TIME HORIZONS

The time frames you set to realize your goals can influence whether you achieve your vision of success.  This is the foundation for another exercise in Un-Seeing.

We seem to have been brain-washed into believing that if we don’t weight ourselves down with a lot of pressure to get things done and done and done, then we’re going to just sit there like lumps on a log.  That’s often the rationale behind all this deadline-making fetish we’ve all fallen into.

Put enough pressure on yourself and you’ll squirt ahead of the crowd.  Oh yeah.  Uh-huh.  Ri-i-i-ght.

More often, it seems, putting all that pressure on yourself makes it very hard to move with grace and is likely to break something – either in you or in your relationships and in your world.

SOME THINGS TAKE TIME…A LOT OF TIME

Baking a cake takes an hour or so.  Slow-roasting a side of beef takes a lot longer.  If you turn up the heat and try to cook that hunk of meat in an hour like a cake, all you will get is a charred piece of raw meat and an over-heated kitchen.  It doesn’t work.

Setting your time frame is like deciding whether the race you are running is a fifty-yard dash or a marathon.  Different strategies are required, depending on the race you choose to run.  You have to pace yourself — allocate your time and your energy differently.  You have to train differently.

This YouTube video “Eight Stages of Marathon Running,” published in 2013 by BuzzFeed Video is a giggle-inducing depiction of the emotions experienced by a first-time marathon runner over the course of a 26.2 mile run.

It’s hard to imagine any short-race runner going through all of that.

HAWAIIAN STYLIN’

Hawaiians have a most interesting concept about time.  They know that time is a mind-construct.  It doesn’t really exist in the Real, they say.  Because time is a human-made thing, it stands to reason that humans can play with time.

When the pressure mounts and they are feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that have to be done, Hawaiians remind each other to “ho’omanawanui.”

In modern times this phrase is translated as “don’t worry.”  However, a wise old Hawaiian shaman once told me, the literal meaning of this phrase can be broken down as follows:

Ho’o” = “make”

Manawa” = time

Nui” = big

When you put it all together “ho’omanawanui” becomes “make time big.”

The shaman was gently pointing out to me that I was trying to solve a very big chronic problem in a very short time frame.  It was driving me crazy. It seemed like every move I made compounded the chaos and it all got overwhelming.

The shaman listened to my tale of woe and advised me to give myself more time and more room in which to make my moves.  Letting go of an artificially set deadline, he said, would give me more time to allow the big mass of chaos I was facing to settle down so I could see how I could use my available resources – my time, my energy, my attention and my money – to better effect.

The moves I could choose to make became clearer when I did not feel the looming pressure of the deadline I had set for myself pressing on me.  Giving myself more time to resolve the situation was a simple matter of telling myself that I had all the time I needed to turn it all around.

This let me take a breath and slow down.  The situation no longer felt like a life-and-death emergency run, with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

flashing-lights
“Flashing Lights” by Thomas Berber via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]
I could slow down.  Slowing down helped me see the opportunities that were already there and I was able to use them to help mitigate and correct a truly intolerable situation.

That one worked.  So have all the other times I’ve tried to use the Ho’omanawanui strategy.

THE FALSE “EITHER/OR”

A wide time horizon can help you avoid false “either/or” decisions.  It’s useful for challenging the assumptions you are carrying whenever you’re facing some choice.

all-at-sea
“I’m all at sea….” by GraceOda via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]
Here’s an example.  Should I spend the summer with my kids making a memory?  Should I spend the summer building my client base so we’ll be able to continue living in the style to which we’ve grown accustomed?

If you start thinking on this in March and you’re looking at the upcoming summer, it’s likely that you’ll end up turning the choice into an “either/or” thing:  EITHER I spend the time with my kids OR I build my business.

If, however,you choose to spend next summer off at the beach with your kids, then you can use the year in between to save money, take on additional clients to generate more revenue, and give advance notice to your existing clients that you’re going to be taking off next summer.

You can even get the kids into planning what they want to do and see and making their own plans for the trip as well.   Together you can work on making the whole experience more meaningful and fun.

The decision becomes an “and”:  I am building my business AND I’m building a special memory with my kids.

GETTING TO “AND”

An even bigger one is the one where you consider doing what you love and doing what makes you more money.  A wider time horizon can allow you to turn the thing into an AND decision, rather than making it an EITHER/OR proposition.

Giving yourself a wide time horizon allows you to consider working during the day and following your passion during the non-work hours.  Or, you might choose doing what you’re passionate about as your primary activity and getting side gigs that make you money.  Or, you might be able to figure out a way to make money doing your passion.

If you don’t load a lot of time constraints and have-to’s onto yourself, you can figure out how to get to where you’re going gracefully.  A bit of graciousness can creep in.

FINAL THOUGHTS

One of my favorite quotes about time is this one by Michael Altshuler:  “The bad news is time flies.  The good news is you’re the pilot.” 

Altshuler should know.  He is a sales coach whose personal track record shows over $65 million in personal and managed sales and he speaks before corporate audiences about peak performance.  For a while he did a stint on the t.v. hit show, American Gladiators.

Here’s a YouTube video produced by eSpeakers in 2016 that shows Altshuler in action.  His message in this thing is a good one….

Here’s a poem:


SAVING

There is no saving time,

No matter what they say.

There’s only the spending

In wise and foolish ways.

 

It is a saving grace,

The knowing this is true

It becomes a matter of pacing,

Of finding the real for you.

 

And when the hours are gone

And the clock has had its run,

The cosmic jest may yet come clear.

Here’s hoping you had fun….

by Netta Kanoho

Header picture credit:  Gear and Hands by Domiriel via Flickr [CC BY-NC 2.0]

Thanks for your visit.  I’d appreciate it if you’d drop a comment or note below and tell me your thoughts.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Get Social....

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)