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One day I stood up bravely and told a bunch of my friends that I was resigning as General Manager of the Universe.  They laughed so hard they were crying.  (Sigh!)  Nobody believed me.  I didn’t believe me.


My way through the world seems to attract a lot of control freaks of one sort or another, as well as people who seem to want  to be told what to do, so it seems that maybe there are lessons there that are mine after all.  Maybe it’s ’cause I do have “issues” about Authority-with-a-capital-A.

It seems to me that the need for control arises out of the fear that what you want is never going to happen unless you, personally, ride herd on the thing and keep it going towards your own personal vision.

It turns your whole road into a battleground, full of other people stepping on your toes, getting in the way and not doing what they’re supposed to.   And you go into battle mode because your fears keep telling you yours ain’t gonna happen.

You waste a whole lot of energy on that one, expending it on trying to get all these people to get out of your way!

The other part of that, of course, is that all the other guys are also trying to get to their desires and trying to do their vision, and you are in their way.  It makes this big, old roiling ball of crisscrossing strings that is an incredible tangle.


I suppose you could do Alexander’s Gordian Knot move where you whack the thing with a big old sword and bully your way on through.

The problem with that solution is you leave behind broken strings all over the ground and those strings are, every one of them, aka threads — the connections between everything in the Universe with everything else in the Universe.  They lie there writhing like a whole bunch of dying worms.  Not a pretty picture.

Battle of Issus Mosaic (from Pompeii) [PD-old-100]
Alexander, called The Great, left a mountain of skulls wherever he went.  He died early, having attained his vision, and failing to come up with some other one to take its place.  He brought great changes to his world and people learned new ways of walking as a result, and the world kept on going, growing, developing.


Alexander was also a catalyst that shook things up good, and maybe that was the gift he carried into the World.  The aka threads that Alexander cut reconnected, grew together in other ways and kept on keeping on.  Alexander, of course, was still dead but he got written up in all kinds of history books and like that and his life story gets inflicted on every wannabe billionaire who lives today.

I’m still working on it.  So’s the rest of the world…..

Here’s a YouTube video featuring the thoughts of philosopher Alan Watts, “Let Go Of Controlling Everything.”  It was published by HDvids101.

And here’s a poem:



He says he’s ready to quit:

He’s tired of the b.s. heaped on his head,

Tired of your issues and your wah-wah-wahs,

Tired of chaos and confusion.


He wants off this job that drags on and on,

An interminable rondel that goes ’round and ’round,

Apparently without end.


He’s tried, he says, tried and tried,

But it feels like he’s herding lemmings,

Trying to keep the little guys

From throwing themselves off some high plateau

Onto the rocks edging the shining sea below.


Every time he gets one cluster of lemmings headed right,

The other guys make a break for it…

Aiming for that seductive edge of nihilistic angst.


Oh, yeah.

It’s come to a head all right…

(Or some more earthy organ that’s

unmentionable in polite company.)

So, he comes to me…

‘Cause I’m Da Boss, right?

I am in charge – Big Mama to the forefront…

Little “g,” in control…uh-huh.


The job’s three-quarters done and he’s feeling done-in.

And me…I’m standing here flat-footed,

Looking at this thing that’s becoming

A cut-rate model for some stupid government contract –

Complete with asinine road blocks,

Replete with meaningless detour signs and side-trips into the absurd.


I am NOT dancin’ now.

I am standing here scratching my head.

I’ve gotta wonder:

Do I LOOK like a branch of Head-Trip International?

Am I the Bureau of Eat-Shit or something?


This is NOT the How!


Me, all I want is Done.

And it is on you, my braddah…

I backed you, and it looks like you are playin’ games!

You do not have my back

And that wind blowin’ up it is getting COLD.


So I’m just sayin’…and I’m saying this LOUD:


Tita is risin’…and it ain’t lookin’ good!

by Netta Kanoho

Header Picture Credit:  Defying the Gordian Knot by GollyGForce – Living My Worst Nightmare via Flickr [CC BY-2.0]

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IN THE DARK TIMES – Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

IN THE DARK TIMES – Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom)

Another IPS (Inner Peace Symptom):  an understanding that you are born with the courage to live.  [Otherwise you’d never have gotten here.  You’d just be the loser sperm that didn’t make it in the championship race to the egg….]

It’s a hard lesson to learn,  that going through personal darkness is part of the process of developing a stronger light within yourself.  All the wise guys say it’s true.  They say it’s a necessary thing.

Dissolution — the dying of everything Ego thinks it is, it wants, it needs — is the prelude to realizing that, for real, what you are is just what you are, and understanding that it is enough.  Right.  Got it.

Here’s a YouTube video, “Nothing is the Ultimate Reality — Alan Watts” published by TJOP (The Journal of Purpose).  It lays down the reasoning behind the need to get to (and through) dissolution.

Alan Watts, whose thoughts are presented in this video, was a British philosopher, writer and lecturer who interpreted and popularized Eastern philosophy in the Western world.  The bulk of his work happened after he joined the faculty of the American Academy of Asian Studies in California in 1950.

Watts’ first book, THE WAY OF ZEN, was published in 1957.  It was one of the first best-selling books about an ancient way of thought.  He went on to write more than 25 books and numerous articles exploring Eastern philosophy.   After his death in 1973 his son Mark kept the legacy alive.  Many of the philosopher’s  recorded talks and lectures are available on the Internet.


When the wise guys talk about it, the process of dissolving Ego sometimes sounds like wiping off the thick grimy dust that’s accumulated on a lightbulb that hasn’t been wiped down in a long, long time.   (Pfui!  You can hear those wiseacres sniggering and snorting as you work that elbow, getting all the stuck-on gunk off that stupid bulb.)

They do warn you that this kind of dying is not an easy thing.  That old lightbulb’s encrusted, man.

What they don’t tell you is that very likely, while you’re doing all this stuff, you’re not even all that sure that somebody remembered to turn on the electricity.  Maybe you’ll get the dust off and then find out the bulb’s gone bad.  (SHEESH!)


It HURTS when you lose all the illusions and delusions, the protections and mind-constructs you’ve built up so carefully for so long.  It really hurts when you have to let go of the security blanket that defined the you as presented to the world-as-you-know-it by Ego.  The Valley of Shadows strips away all that stuff.  The process is ruthless and if you’re particularly delusional, well…it rips you apart.

And you know what?  You whine and winge an awful lot about really picayune things that make you cringe when you actually listen to yourself.

If you’re actually serious about doing this kind of peeling off the Ego-stuff (rather than embracing it and embedding yourself deeper into the thing) you get to worrying that maybe you’re so riddled with wormholes and rotten spots that you’re going to end up looking like Swiss cheese at the end of the process.


So anyhow, there you are diligently cultivating your “Higher Self” or whatever.  You tell yourself that all you have to do is just keep on moving forward relentlessly until you get all the way through the thing.

You can use all the tools and techniques devised by all the wise guys through all the ages.  You can do all the prescribed meditations and affirmations until they come out of your ears.  You can sing the chants and songs and do the rituals, assume the postures and don the proper attitudes, do whatever you like or need to do to keep on taking one more step and then one more step and then one more step, on and on and on.

But the deal is, you have to keep taking that one more step in the direction you want to go.  They say it’s the only way to get to a life that has meaning and mana for you.

As Brene Brown tells us in her book, RISING STRONG:  The Reckoning, the Rumble, the Revolution, “The truth is that falling hurts.  The dare is to keep being brave and feeling your way back up.”

Feet Walking by shinazy shinazy via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]


I guess that what you really need to get through the dark parts is what the English call “bottom” — courage and balance, sheer stubborn and absolute faith that you ARE going to get there, despite all the “no” and “not and “not even.”  All you have to do is keep taking one step.  That’s all.  Just one more step.

This YouTube clip, “Brave” is a spoken word poem written and performed by Kristal Serrano.

And here’s another poem:


Hanging ten on the edge of dissolution,

Staring into the maw of the Creative Dark, pō panopano.

Sitting here almost brain-dead and drained,

I got to thinking how the other people in my life

Have shaped me, helped me shape my world.


It is a good thought,

Makes me want to throw my fist up in the air,

A warrior’s salute and celebration.

Makes me want to dance on the edge again.

Gives me heart.


I bless them all, those people….


I bless the loving people in my life

The ones who helped smooth my way,

The warm and generous ones,

The ones who were kind.


I bless the strong people in my life,

The ones who kept their promises,

The ones who let me lean on their strength,

The self-sufficient ones, the peaceable ones.


I bless the good people in my life,

Most wondrous of all the gifts

From this old Universe.

On the edge of the void,

They make me smile.

By Netta Kanoho

Picture credit:  The Nuclear Lightbulb by Sjoerd Los via Flickr [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]

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